DISCOURSE ON TABOOS IN ONLINE DATING: SEXUAL EXPRESSIONS OF JAKARTA OKCUPID USERS
Keywords:
dating app, hook-up, OKCupid, sexual expression, urban dating
Abstract
The popularity of global dating platforms has affected the dating behavior of urban daters, including those who live in Jakarta. Compared to match-seeking via print media decades ago, there are some changes in the way people present themselves and express their sexuality on dating platforms. On one of the dating platforms, OKCupid, some Jakarta users boldly stated their intention of looking for a hookup or non-heterosexual partner. This creates a problem in Indonesia, where most societies consider sexual acts and expressions such as premarital sex and non-heterosexual relationship as taboos. In this research, we examine the practice of OKCupid use by adult online daters in Jakarta, specifically about how they present themselves to express their diverse sexualities through OKCupid unique features. We argue that OKCupid features help its users to disclose themselves in a more specific manner, and thus facilitate them to find people with a shared interest and preferred gender or sexual orientation. Furthermore, in our informants' self-presentations, we found some strategies they utilized to preserve their privacy, avoid the consequences of normativity that is perpetuated from offline context, or target certain users as their potential matches. These strategies are dependent upon sociocultural dynamics as well as facilities developed by OKCupid.
References
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de Vries, D. A. (2014). Social media and online self-presentation: Effects on how we see ourselves and our bodies(PhD Thesis). University of Amsterdam, Amsterdam, Netherland.
du Gay, Paul, et. al. (1997). Doing Cultural Studies: The Story of Sony Walkman. London: Sage Publications Ltd.
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Kim, Albert Y. & Adriana Escobedo-Land. (2017). OkCupid Data for Introductory Statistics and Data Science Courses. Journal of Statistics Education Vol. 23 Issue 2, p. 1-24.
Kirnandita, Patresia. (2017). “Manneke Budiman: Pelecehan Seksual Banyak Terjadi Sebelum Era Dating Online”. Tirto.id. [Online] Available: https://tirto.id/pelecehan-seksual-banyak-terjadi-sebelum-era-dating-online-ctr3
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Maharani, Safira & S. Rouli Manalu. (2017). Analisis Faktor Pendorong dalam Melakukan Online Dating. Interaksi Online (S.I.). [Online] Available: https://media.neliti.com/media/publications/186594-ID-analisis-faktor-pendorong-dalam-melakuka.pdf Manu, Ni Putu Cinintya, et. al. (2017). Self Disclosure Pengguna Aplikasi Kencan Online (Studi pada Tinder). E-Jurnal Medium (S.I.) Vol. 1 No. 1. [Online] Available: https://ojs.unud.ac.id/index.php/komunikasi/article/view/35447
Marwick, Alice E. and Danah Boyd. (2010). I Tweet Honestly, I Tweet Passionately: Twitter Users, Context Collapse, and the Imagined Audience. New Media Society XX(X), p. 1–20.
Muhleisen, Susanne. (2016). “More about me”—Self-Presentation and Narrative Strategies in Caribbean Online Dating Ads. Open Linguistic Vol. 2 Issue 1, p. 437-449. Nanda, K.A.G. et. al. (2018). Proses Pengungkapan Diri (Self Disclosure) Kaum Gay Dalam Mencari Pasangan pada Aplikasi Tinder. E-Jurnal Medium (S.I) Vol. 1 No. 1. [Online] Available: https://ojs.unud.ac.id/index.php/komunikasi/article/view/37495
Noerlela, Syakira. (2017). Pengungkapan Diri pada Aplikasi Kencan Online (Studi Desktiptif Individu Pengguna Aplikasi Tinder) (Bachelor Thesis). Universitas Gadjah Mada, Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Oakley, Ann. (1988). Interviewing women: A contradiction in terms. Dalam H. Roberts (Ed.), Doing Feminist Research. London: Routledge.
Penhollow, Tina et. al. (2007).Relationship between Religiosity and “Hooking Up” Behavior. American Journal of Health Education Vol. 38 No. 6, p. 338-345. Ramadhan, Y.F. & T. Lukmantoro. (2016). Interpersonal Communication Patterns and Intimate Relationship Motivation on Gay and Lesbian Dating Couple. Interaksi Online(S.I.) Vol. 4 No. 4
“Sexual Orientation & Homosexuality”. n/d. American Psychological Association. [Online] Available: https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/orientation.aspx
Shinta. (1973). “Atjeng yang Punya ‘Rayuan Maut’”. Varianada No. 142 Tahun IV/73.
Shishido, Juan et. al. (2016). Tell Me Something I Don’t Know: Analyzing OKCupid Profiles. Proceeding of the 15th Python In Science Conference, p. 75-81.
Slama, Martin. (2010). The Agency of The Heart: Internet Chatting as Youth Culture in Indonesia. Social Anthropology.Vol. 18 No. 3, p. 316-330.
Sprecher, Susan & Elaine Hathfield. (1996). Premarital Sexual Standards Among U.S. College Students: Comparison with Russian and Japanese Students. Archives of Sexual Behavior Vol. 25 No. 3, p. 261-288. Tampubolon, Rotua Nuraini. (2016). Intimate Communication in the Urban Gay Circle in Indonesia (Phenomenon Study on the Usage of Grindr as the Medium of Communication). Proceeding of The 3rd International Conference on Communication Culture and Media Studies, p. 111-118.
Utama, Abraham. (2016). “Kembang Kempis Bisnis Yasco, Biro Jodoh Tertua di Jakarta”. CNN Indonesia. [Online] Available: https://www.cnnindonesia.com/gaya-hidup/20160214051056-277-110753/kembang-kempis-bisnis-yasco-biro-jodoh-tertua-di-jakarta
Utomo, Iwu Dwisetyani. (1997). Sexual Attitutes and Behaviour of Middle-Class Young People in Jakarta. (Bachelor Thesis). The Australian National University, Canberra, Australia
Williams, D. J. et. al. (2013). Resolving social problems associated with sexuality: can a “sex-positive” approach help?.Social Work Vol. 58 Issue 3, p. 273-276.
Wongsodiredjo, Chicilia et. al. (2017). Self-disclosure Pengguna Aplikasi Kencan Online (Studi pada Individu yang Menjalin Hubungan Romansa Melalui Tinder). Koneksi Vol. 1 No. 2, p. 285-290.
Wotipka, Crystal D. & Andrew C. High. 2016. An idealized self or the real me? Predicting attraction to online dating profiles using selective self-presentation and warranting. Communication Monographs Vol. 83 No. 3, p. 281-302.
Vrangalova, Zhana & Rachel E. Bukberg. (2015). Are sexually permissive individuals more victimized and socially isolated?. Personal Relationships, Vol. 22 Issue 2, p. 230-242.
Ayudra, Viranda A. (2014). Tingkat Kontrol Sosial mengenai Permisivitas Seksual Mahasiswa di Tempat Kos: Studi pada Mahasiswa di Kos Horizontal RW 4 dan Kos Vertikal Margonda Residence (Tugas Karya Akhir). Universitas Indonesia, Depok, Indonesia.
Baym, Nancy K. & Danah Boyd. (2012). Socially Mediated Publicness: An Introduction. Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media Vol. 56 No. 3, p. 320-329.
Ben-Ze’ev, Aaron. (2004). Love Online: Emotion on the Internet. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Chalkley, Tony. (2016). On-line Dating: Exploring the Digital Ways of Finding Love in Indonesia. Dalam Azman A. Azmawati & Rachel E. Khan (eds.), Social Media in Asia: Changing Paradigms of Communication. Newcastle upon Tyne: Cambridge Scholars Publishing.
Choi, M. K. & Kwok-bun Chan. (2013). Online Dating as A Strategic Game: Why and How Men in Hong Kong Use QQ to Chase Women in Mainland China. Heidelberg: Springer.
Cobb, Camille & Tadayoshi Kohno. (2017). How Public Is My Private Life? Privacy in Online Dating. International World Wide Web Conference Committee, p. 1231-1240.
Creti, Laura & Eva Libman. (1989). Cognitions and sexual expression in the aging. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy Vol. 15 No. 2, p. 83-101.
Currier, Danielle M. (2013). Protecting Emphasized Femininity and Hegemonic Masculinity in the Hookup Culture. Gender and Society Vol. 27, No. 5, p. 704-727. Darmojuwono, Setiawati. (2000). Pemilihan Kata dalam Iklan Kontak Jodoh sebagai Cerminan Citra Wanita Indonesia.
Dalam Bambang Kaswanti Purwo (ed.), Kajian Serba Linguistik untuk Anton Moeliono Pereksa Bahasa. Jakarta: BPK Gunung Mulia.
Davies, Sharyn Graham. (2018). Pengaturan Seksualitas di Indonesia. Dalam Linda Rae Bennet et. al. (eds.), Seksualitas di Indonesia: Politik Seksual, Kesehatan, Keragaman, dan Representasi. Jakarta: Yayasan Pustaka Obor Indonesia.
de Vries, D. A. (2014). Social media and online self-presentation: Effects on how we see ourselves and our bodies(PhD Thesis). University of Amsterdam, Amsterdam, Netherland.
du Gay, Paul, et. al. (1997). Doing Cultural Studies: The Story of Sony Walkman. London: Sage Publications Ltd.
Haerich, Paul. (1992). Premarital Sexual Permissiveness and Religious Orientation: A Preliminary Investigation. Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, Vol. 31, No. 3 (Sep., 1992), pp. 361-365.
Faisal, M. (2018). “Represi anti-LGBT: Moral Dibesarkan, Keadilan Diabaikan”. Tirto.id. [Online] Available: https://tirto.id/represi-anti-lgbt-moral-dibesarkan-keadilan-diabaikan-cNLz Gieseking, J. J. (2017). Messing with the attractiveness algorithm: a response to queering code/space. Gender, Place & Culture Vol. 24 No. 11, p. 1659–1665.
Humphrey, Lee & Thomas Barker. (2007). Modernity and the Mobile Phone: Exploring Tensions about Dating and Sex in Indonesia. M/C Journal Vol. 10 Issue 1. [Online] Available: http://journal.media-culture.org.au/0703/06-humphreys-barker.php
Hutari, Fandy. (2018). “Nostalgia Rubrik Kontak Jodoh dan Konsultasi Asmara”. Alinea.id. [Online] Available: https://www.alinea.id/gaya-hidup/nostalgia-rubrik-kontak-jodoh-dan-konsultasi-asmara-b1U7n9etH
Indriyati, R. (2015). Fenomena Dating Relationship di Media Sosial. Prosiding Seminar Nasional Penelitian dan PKM Sosial, Ekonomi dan Humaniora Vol. 5 No. 1, p. 731-734.
“It’s a Match! – Survey Report on Indonesian Online Dating Apps Users”. 2016. Jajak Pendapat App. [Online] Available: https://blog.jakpat.net/its-a-match-survey-report-on-indonesian-online-dating-apps-users/
“Jim Supangkat: Jangan Samakan Seksualitas, Erotisme, dan Pornografi”. (2006). X! Magazine No. 6 Mei 2006, p. 36-40.
“Kedip-kedipan! Cari Jodoh lewat Radio”. (1999).Aikon.org. [Online] Available: https://aikon.org/kedip-kedip-an-cari-jodoh-lewat-radio/
Kelley, Jonathan. (1978). Sexual Permissiveness: Evidence for a Theory. Journal of Marriage and The Family Vol. 40 No. 3, p. 455-468.
Kim, Albert Y. & Adriana Escobedo-Land. (2017). OkCupid Data for Introductory Statistics and Data Science Courses. Journal of Statistics Education Vol. 23 Issue 2, p. 1-24.
Kirnandita, Patresia. (2017). “Manneke Budiman: Pelecehan Seksual Banyak Terjadi Sebelum Era Dating Online”. Tirto.id. [Online] Available: https://tirto.id/pelecehan-seksual-banyak-terjadi-sebelum-era-dating-online-ctr3
Kresna, Mawa. (2017). “Gairah Kencan Online Kaum LGBT di Indonesia”. Tirto.id. [Online] Available: https://tirto.id/gairah-kencan-online-kaum-lgbt-di-indonesia-ctrW
Kresna, Mawa. (2017). “Aplikasi Kencan: Cari Jodoh atau Teman Bobo”. Tirto.id. [Online] Available: https://tirto.id/aplikasi-kencan-cari-jodoh-atau-teman-bobo-ctrR
Kusumah, Mulyana W. (1980). Studi Kasus Hubungan Kelamin di Luar Pernikahan. Skripsi. Universitas Indonesia.
Lova, Cynthia. (2018). “Sebelas Pasangan Mesum Digerebek Satpol PP di Depok”. Kompas.com. [Online] Available: https://megapolitan.kompas.com/read/2018/09/30/06284591/sebelas-pasangan-mesum-digerebek-satpol-pp-di-depok
Maharani, Safira & S. Rouli Manalu. (2017). Analisis Faktor Pendorong dalam Melakukan Online Dating. Interaksi Online (S.I.). [Online] Available: https://media.neliti.com/media/publications/186594-ID-analisis-faktor-pendorong-dalam-melakuka.pdf Manu, Ni Putu Cinintya, et. al. (2017). Self Disclosure Pengguna Aplikasi Kencan Online (Studi pada Tinder). E-Jurnal Medium (S.I.) Vol. 1 No. 1. [Online] Available: https://ojs.unud.ac.id/index.php/komunikasi/article/view/35447
Marwick, Alice E. and Danah Boyd. (2010). I Tweet Honestly, I Tweet Passionately: Twitter Users, Context Collapse, and the Imagined Audience. New Media Society XX(X), p. 1–20.
Muhleisen, Susanne. (2016). “More about me”—Self-Presentation and Narrative Strategies in Caribbean Online Dating Ads. Open Linguistic Vol. 2 Issue 1, p. 437-449. Nanda, K.A.G. et. al. (2018). Proses Pengungkapan Diri (Self Disclosure) Kaum Gay Dalam Mencari Pasangan pada Aplikasi Tinder. E-Jurnal Medium (S.I) Vol. 1 No. 1. [Online] Available: https://ojs.unud.ac.id/index.php/komunikasi/article/view/37495
Noerlela, Syakira. (2017). Pengungkapan Diri pada Aplikasi Kencan Online (Studi Desktiptif Individu Pengguna Aplikasi Tinder) (Bachelor Thesis). Universitas Gadjah Mada, Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
Oakley, Ann. (1988). Interviewing women: A contradiction in terms. Dalam H. Roberts (Ed.), Doing Feminist Research. London: Routledge.
Penhollow, Tina et. al. (2007).Relationship between Religiosity and “Hooking Up” Behavior. American Journal of Health Education Vol. 38 No. 6, p. 338-345. Ramadhan, Y.F. & T. Lukmantoro. (2016). Interpersonal Communication Patterns and Intimate Relationship Motivation on Gay and Lesbian Dating Couple. Interaksi Online(S.I.) Vol. 4 No. 4
“Sexual Orientation & Homosexuality”. n/d. American Psychological Association. [Online] Available: https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/orientation.aspx
Shinta. (1973). “Atjeng yang Punya ‘Rayuan Maut’”. Varianada No. 142 Tahun IV/73.
Shishido, Juan et. al. (2016). Tell Me Something I Don’t Know: Analyzing OKCupid Profiles. Proceeding of the 15th Python In Science Conference, p. 75-81.
Slama, Martin. (2010). The Agency of The Heart: Internet Chatting as Youth Culture in Indonesia. Social Anthropology.Vol. 18 No. 3, p. 316-330.
Sprecher, Susan & Elaine Hathfield. (1996). Premarital Sexual Standards Among U.S. College Students: Comparison with Russian and Japanese Students. Archives of Sexual Behavior Vol. 25 No. 3, p. 261-288. Tampubolon, Rotua Nuraini. (2016). Intimate Communication in the Urban Gay Circle in Indonesia (Phenomenon Study on the Usage of Grindr as the Medium of Communication). Proceeding of The 3rd International Conference on Communication Culture and Media Studies, p. 111-118.
Utama, Abraham. (2016). “Kembang Kempis Bisnis Yasco, Biro Jodoh Tertua di Jakarta”. CNN Indonesia. [Online] Available: https://www.cnnindonesia.com/gaya-hidup/20160214051056-277-110753/kembang-kempis-bisnis-yasco-biro-jodoh-tertua-di-jakarta
Utomo, Iwu Dwisetyani. (1997). Sexual Attitutes and Behaviour of Middle-Class Young People in Jakarta. (Bachelor Thesis). The Australian National University, Canberra, Australia
Williams, D. J. et. al. (2013). Resolving social problems associated with sexuality: can a “sex-positive” approach help?.Social Work Vol. 58 Issue 3, p. 273-276.
Wongsodiredjo, Chicilia et. al. (2017). Self-disclosure Pengguna Aplikasi Kencan Online (Studi pada Individu yang Menjalin Hubungan Romansa Melalui Tinder). Koneksi Vol. 1 No. 2, p. 285-290.
Wotipka, Crystal D. & Andrew C. High. 2016. An idealized self or the real me? Predicting attraction to online dating profiles using selective self-presentation and warranting. Communication Monographs Vol. 83 No. 3, p. 281-302.
Vrangalova, Zhana & Rachel E. Bukberg. (2015). Are sexually permissive individuals more victimized and socially isolated?. Personal Relationships, Vol. 22 Issue 2, p. 230-242.
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